16 April 2015

Top 5 Ways to Hide Your (Money-Related) Depression

Those of you who are un(der)employed know the story well: the bills keep mounting with no end in sight because you don't have enough money coming in to cover them. To make matters worse, all attempts at finding employment are complete failures as well and then something catastrophic happens that wipes out all your reserves. While sure, you could take advantage of the mental health portion of Obamacare, that screams of desperation. Although the struggle is real, you're not actually desperate and you might even become an hero if left alone. Never fear, these five steps will help you to keep anyone else from knowing about your problems.

Smile so that no one knows.
PC: stockimages.
1. Act Happy

It shouldn't be a shocker, but if you start acting stressed and worried, people will ask all sorts of probing questions about if you're alright and what's wrong. To avoid this invasion of privacy, always make sure that you fake a smile when you're with people, especially family and friends.

2. Hang Out

Drastic changes in routine can sabotage the best attempts to keep the fa├žade together. Avoid suspicion and "serious talks" by continuing to do the same things that you always have. If you can't afford to participate in quite the same way, keep up appearances with cheaper-but-still-adequate alternatives.

Starting a drug habit will lead people to think you have
a problem. Don't do drugs. PC: marin.

3. Stay Away from the Four Horsemen

The four horsemen of personal finance can quickly burn a hole in your wallet, possibly even other parts of your body. Suddenly taking up a new vice looks suspicious and screams "help me". And it might be expensive. You don't want that kind of attention, so just make things easy and stay away.

4. Change the Subject

Inevitably, some people might think that something is really wrong and will try to pry into your privacy to get you to admit it. To keep that from happening, take extra steps to keep conversation from going that direction. If necessary, change the subject and follow step number one.

A change of scenery never hurt anybody.
PC: moggara12.

5. Leave

Cut off all contact and go somewhere where no one knows you and start a new life. Preferably to somewhere off the grid, as it will be hard to establish life in a modern society with lots of lodestones around your neck. There, you can participate in a sharing/barter economy that will value you based on your contributions.

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